thejourneyofgrace

March 26, 2012

Surname (?)

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 9:31 am

err…this time.. ‘let’s take it as intermezzo’ :D I wrote this as I read beautiful notes of a couple :) ehhmm..it reminds me to one of my ‘impossible’ dreams :D :) eerrrr..aaaiyyyooo I’m being to skeptical.. who want to marry me..?? hahaha (talking to myself – SingLish mode on)

 

Ok lahr..let’s start :D (loh emangnya dari tadi belum start yoo -.-) hahahaha

 

hmm.. I’m 22 years old this year :) this January, actually..

the idea of having children..of course through building Christian family in a holy matrimony.. comes to my mind..but at the same time.. it is still ‘long way to go’ just like ‘he’s so faarrrr from me.. or the time has not come yet..or even..there’s a whisper saying well..it is one of my ‘impossible’ dreams..

deep inside.. I know..that God has been teaching me first..to keep my heart in God’s :) enjoying my single time serving Him..(well..I do realize that I’m a type of complexity..many things ran through my head. a type of philosopher :D ) I have assurance walking with Him..day by day.. knowing Him deeper..growing in Him much more..(even in times of my dark nights..well’, as I’m writing this.. this could be one of my nights) but thanks be to God who holds my hand..as I come to realize that it is God who has been upholding me..as always be..forever and ever..

whether my surname will be changed or not..(if God’s willing); or when..or with whom..I have peace of assurance..that first and foremost I am His.. the Ultimate Marriage as God’s bride..as church..to whom He died on the cross..

last but not least.. eehhmm.. to whose name that my surname will be changed into..(?) :) I’m waiting for the day..to be called as Mrs. ———- :D :) <3

March 22, 2012

Love – Jay Adams

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 5:19 pm

I have said the words
__“I love you”
__to You and to my neighbor—
but do I really love?
Do I really put first
__others or self?
Am I patient and kind?
Or am I jealous, proud, ugly,
__irritable, bitter?
Have I yet learned
__not to be happy about injustice
__but to stand firmly with truth,
__to cover a multitude of sins,
__in hope and faith
__to give others the benefit of all doubt,
__to willingly endure suffering?
Lord, You know how short of such love
__my feeble love now falls.
You know too
__that it is because You first loved me
__that I love at all
__and that I want to love
__as I have been loved.
Fan the flickering flame
__in my heart
__so that in all I do
__I may reflect
__the measureless, endless,
__unspeakable love
__of Jesus Christ,
______________in Whose Name I pray,
_____________________Amen.

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 5:06 pm

I love you God.. because Thou has first loved me.. Thank you..for loving me unconditionally.. :’)

March 15, 2012

Trust

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 5:46 pm

He asks unconditional trust of mine in His unconditional Love, no matter what I see or understand to be happening :’

God.. forgive me..for my faith is too little..for doubting You and not doubting the world..not doubting myself..for being like Eve..putting myself as a judge to choose to follow You or listen to “serpent”.. not to obey..submit to Your will..Your promise..for being like the 10 watchers..for not learning that all I’ve seen teaches me to trust You for all I have not seen..(sigh*..the list will be much longer..and longer..).. Have mercy on me o God to do my part..for You did not created me as robot..but as image bearer of God..

For all my friends who are now fighting for Your Kingdom..bless them Lord.. be with them God.. and sustain them when tough times come.. may Your name be glorified only..may You be willing to use us, the broken vessels, to glorify Your name..

Thank you for being patient..teachings..discipline me..may I learn more and more..grow day by day to be more like Your Son, Jesus Christ..

In the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we pray.. Amen.

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage when you are punished by him.  For the Lord disciplines him whom he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  Besides this, we have had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?  For they disciplined us for a short time at their pleasure, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

This hymn below, Trust and Obey is such a reminder..

  1. When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
    What a glory He sheds on our way!
    While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
    And with all who will trust and obey.Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
    • Refrain:
      Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
      To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
  2. But His smile quickly drives it away;
    Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
    Can abide while we trust and obey.
  3. Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
    But our toil He doth richly repay;
    Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
    But is blessed if we trust and obey.
  4. But we never can prove the delights of His love
    Until all on the altar we lay;
    For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
    Are for them who will trust and obey.
  5. Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
    Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
    What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
    Never fear, only trust and obey.

Strange..Stranger..Asing..

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 5:13 pm

Today.. as I entered room 602..no no,  even more as I entered my campus.. because I live in campus..stay at dormitory.. this place..is so strange to  me.. I never experience this before… so strange.. asing…asing sekali..nda pernah seperti ini sebelumnya.. what’s wrong?

:(

 

Asing –> adjective: foreign, alien, strange,  extraneous, outside, exotic

 

 

 

 

March 14, 2012

Defense Schedule

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 3:31 pm

Yesterday, on Tuesday, 13th March 2012 the defense schedule was announced officially.
Deep inside, I pray that Ibu CR would be my panelist, but I’m ready for whoever that will be my panelist.  But sometimes, as I look back in my skripsi.. I am not satisfied because my Christian perspective is not strong..so on the other hand, I wish Ibu CR would not be my panelist..well, my supervisor didn’t care on the Christian perspective because he’s not in that major..he’s more “academical” and not wished to see many Christian perspective because it will add no to the academical.. err see..how self-centered and selfish I am.. :(

God has other mind of mine, of course, God placed Ibu CR and Mr. DK as my panelists. What a surprise! Both of them are very strong in Christian perspective..and I know when they read my skripsi, I guess they will be disappointed because they will not find strong Christian perspective..well..at least Ibu CR (in my assumption) wished more elaboration on Christian perspective because I asked her to permit me joined in her Foundations of Christian Education class.
And I have about a day to fix again the Christian perspective..

and by now..I’m still working and working and fixing.. on the day of my defense, I want to see them.. especially Ibu CR’s smile..brightly.. even more.. I want to see Him..smiles :)

Anyway, I think I’m in love with Ryle and Knight :D (two of my beloved preachers and authors)

March 12, 2012

The Dark Night of the Soul

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 3:08 am

I think..I ponder..I contemplate..that God has been leading me to the first step or to the enter gate of the classroom entitled, “The Dark Night of the Soul”
It is so hard for me to write.. as you’re going to continue to read my next “the-journey-of-grace”, be careful..asked God first..because for the next postings, you might seen the “night seasons” in “the-journey-of-grace”.
But..as we’re reading “the night seasons” in “the-journey-of-grace”, my prayer is that we would be captivated at the same time with “Grace abounding to the Chief of Sinner”
God is gracious..God is good..as always be..forever and ever..

Below is an article by Nancy Missler about “The Dark Night of the Soul”

The Dark Night of the Soul

By Nancy Missler


Loren Sandford has just written a good book on the dark night of the soul and he says,
“Scripture shows us a reported pattern in which man receives a call, experiences success,
is driven into exile (dark night) and then, finally returns to fulfill his destiny in the Lord.” 32

A Scriptural Example: Joseph


A perfect Scriptural example of this is Joseph in the Old Testament. He received a call
from God; was given special giftings (success); went through a night season of exile; and,
eventually was instilled as Prince of Egypt, his true destiny from the Lord. Joseph is one
who understood God’s purposes for the night seasons, and had the faith to get through.
The story goes like this: God gave Joseph an incredible dream that contained some
mind-boggling promises for the future, yet this dream left his brothers seething with jealousy.
After throwing Joseph into a pit, they sold him to a caravan of Ishmaelites on their
way to Egypt. Joseph eventually was bought by Potiphar, a high-ranking Egyptian official,
whose wife repeatedly tried to seduce the devout young Hebrew. When she finally accused
the innocent Joseph of trying to molest her, Potiphar angrily threw the young man into
prison, where he remained for years. When he was finally released, as a result of divinelyorchestrated
circumstances, he had been in bondage for a total of thirteen years!
Questions that naturally come to our mind are: Had God really spoken to Joseph
through that dream? What about all those incredible promises? Did God change his mind?
Did He abandon Joseph during hose thirteen years in prison? I don’t think so. I don’t believe
anything that happened to Joseph was a surprise to God. He knew what Joseph
would do and He also knew what He wanted to accomplish through Joseph (i.e., bring the
Israelites to Egypt). If you read the Scriptures carefully, many times it says that all who saw
Joseph during those thirteen years in prison knew that “God was with him.”33 Joseph understood
God’s will and allowed Him to freely work through him, even in the “night seasons.”
God not only creates the brightness of day, He also creates the darkness of night.34
Thus, He not only is the Author of our joy and gladness, but He’s also the Author of our
night seasons. Too many Christians have chosen to recreate God in their own image. They
logically tell themselves, “A loving father would never willingly allow his children to suffer
hardship, and neither would a loving heavenly Father!” However, if we put God into a box
built by our own human understanding, how will we ever survive the night seasons of our
faith? How could Joseph have survived those thirteen years if not for his unwavering faith
and belief in the goodness of God?
If we only believe in a God of easy comfort, how can our faith ever withstand the heat
of harsh circumstances? Without roots that go deep into the soil, the grass will surely
wither. And, the same is true with us. If our faith is not deeply rooted in God’s Love, then
we, too, will wither and die during our dark night.


Other Scriptural Examples

As we search the Scriptures, we find that almost every great man or woman of God experienced their own night season or dark night. On the very night God made His eternal covenant with Abraham, the Bible tells us that a “terror and great darkness fell upon him.” (Genesis 15:12 NAS) David, still reeling from the sound of all Jerusalem singing his praises, had to flee to the wilderness and hide inside a cave like a common criminal.35 Just days after his incredible victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah hid under a tree and begged God to kill him.36 After being born a prince of Egypt, God allowed Moses to be stripped of his home, his privileges, his wealth, his power and his pride and made him to dwell 40 years in the desert as a common shepherd. And, even Jesus, with the “hosannas” still ringing in his ears, experienced an agony so intense that it caused him literally to sweat blood.37 But after the crucifixion, there came the incredible story of Jesus’ resurrection. And at the end of Moses’ long night season, God ultimately exalted him and gave him the unique privilege of seeing God “face to face.”38 When God called him from the burning bush, Moses couldn’t even speak without stuttering, yet this was the man God ultimately chose to become His friend.39 And again Joseph, after thirteen years of learning humility, endurance and overcoming faith, was exalted to a position of incredible authority.40
This seems to be God’s pattern over and over again in the lives of His chosen vessels. A dark, emptying-out time and then, a full, infilling time of blessing, where they have the privilege
of “seeing” (experiencing) God as never before “…according to all that He promised; there hath not failed one word of all His good promise, which He promised.” (l Kings 8:56) Abraham, David, Elijah and Moses were the kind of men spoken about in Isaiah 50:10, “Who…feareth the Lord [and] obeyeth [His] voice…[but] walketh in darkness, and hath no light.” Yet, because these men went on and, in their night seasons “…trust[ed] in the name of the Lord, and stay[ed] upon [their] God” (verse 11 emphasis added), God was able not only to accomplish His will, but also to fill them with His fulness. God’s will for each of our lives is not only doing what He asks, but also accepting with praise and thanksgiving all that He allows.

Night Seasons of Other Prominent People


Many theologians and saints throughout history have also experienced and written
about their own “night seasons.” You can find this recurring theme in the biographies of
Charles Spurgeon, Martin Luther, Francis Schaeffer, John of the Cross, Madame Guyon,
Oswald Chambers, Augustine, John Wesley, Watchman Nee, Catherine Marshall, Dietrich
Bonhoeffer, Brother Lawrence, Hudson Taylor, Charles Finney, George Fox, William Law,
Jesse Penn Lewis, Francois Fenelon and many others.
These men and women eventually learned to “see’’ through the darkness with God’s
eyes and, as a result of their faithful endurance, they were able to boldly enter into His
presence and find the peace and joy and rest they were looking for. Tozer called it “the
ministry of the night” and Spurgeon “a child of light walking in darkness. Oswald Chambers
even wrote a poem entitled “Dark Night of the Soul” from his book Abandoned to God:41


“Cut it off. My heart is bleeding,
And my spirit’s wrung in pain,
Yet I hear my Jesus pleading,
Cut it off or all is vain.
So I’ve stopped my ears in terror
Lest self-pity make me quail,
Lest at last I take the error
And God’s purpose thwart and fail.
I am bowed to death in sadness,
For the pain is all too great,
But the dear Lord must find pleasure
In the way He maketh straight.”


Listen to how Francois Fenelon (in the 1600s) describes the dark it in his book The Seeking Heart:

God will eventually test you in all areas of your life, but He will not let your trials become greater than you can bear. Let God use trials to help you grow. Do not measure your progress, your strength or what God is doing. His work is not less efficient because what He is doing is invisible. Much of God’s work is done in secret because you would not die to yourself if He always visibly stretched out His hand to save you. God does not transform you on a bed of light, life and grace. His transformation is done on the cross in darkness, poverty and death. 42

The above believers were honest men like Job. They were praying servants who truly loved the Lord and had compassion for the poor. Like Job, they had a lifestyle of confession and repentance, and had faithfully raised their children in the fear of the Lord. Yet, after a long season of trials and tribulations, many of these men, like Job, would confess that they never really “knew” God. Yes, they had feared, worshiped and honored Him; they had believed in His holiness, His power and His character; they had written books about God; and they had even counseled others. But, at the end of their long dark night, each would admit, like Job, “I [had only] heard of Thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth [You].” (Job 42:5 emphasis added) God longs to replace us with Himself so that we might intimately know and see Him! Not just know about Him from sermons we hear, from books we read, or from songs we sing, but truly experience a oneness with Him that we have never known before—an intimacy that brings us joy and a peace that passes all understanding. Only “…in Thy presence is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11) This is what the fulness of Christ and the abundant Life is all about.

How Much Do You Trust God?


The bottom line is: How much do you trust God?
We so often sing about His Love and His Mercy, but do we really believe in it and trust
in it? A child trusts in the love of his mother, even though she must, at times, discipline him
and take him to the doctor for shots. Real love involves trust. When someone really loves
and cares for you, you trust that they have your best interests at heart, even if you don’t
always understand their expression of love. God asks us to do the same with Him. He asks
us to unconditionally trust in His Love for us, no matter what we see or understand to be
happening.
The God of the Bible is a loving and compassionate Father, who will use all the events
in our lives to rid us of sin and self so that He might replace us with Himself and, thereby,
fill us with His fulness. He continually is stretching and shaping our faith so that we will be
able to endure any circumstance that He allows, and so that we will be able to say with
absolute conviction, “Though [You] slay me, yet will I trust [You].” This kind of faith overcomes
the world and brings with it the peace that passes all understanding.
The classroom that God uses to teach us these lessons is called “the dark night.”
This inward life of the spirit can be gained only by a passionate and consuming love for
God. How much do you love Him—enough to surrender everything to Him? This is a
question each of us must answer for ourselves. The walk of faith towards experiencing the
fulness and the presence of God is not easy. It means not only going through the narrow
gate, but also walking along the hard path.
“Straight is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be
that find it.” (Matthew 7:14)
Do you love God enough to open that narrow gate and go down that hard path?


Footnotes:
32. Burnout, Loren Sandford, page 126.
33. Genesis 39
34. Isaiah 45:7
35. Psalm 42:9
36. 1 Kings 19:4
37. Luke 22:44
38. Exodus 24:15; Deuteronomy 5:22. Moses stayed seven days on the mountain. On the
seventh day, God called him. (Exodus 24:16) The Spirit of the Lord was like a devouring fire.
39. Exodus 33:11
40. Genesis 50:20
41. Abandoned to God, Oswald Chambers, page 79.
42. The Seeking Heart, Francois Fenelon, page 11.
43. John of the Cross, Wilfrid McGreal, pages 28-30.

March 11, 2012

Robot

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 4:59 pm

Sometimes..or at least right now, I’m thinking that it will be better for God to create me as ‘robot’ who is perfectly 100% “good..”; when I look back into my sins.. my wickedness..my limitation..my weakness..and because I want to give up for myself.. I think it’ll be better if Kezia is a robot.. even when I see myself..I see wickedness everywhere.. moreover in God’s sight.. I’m tired with myself..

Kyrie Eleison.. (I hope God is not ‘tired’ when I cry this ‘phrase’)

Faithful – Donghaeng video

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 4:29 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3aGrUgq7ZM

This is donghaeng video. This video is reminder to be faithful.. because God is faithful first..as always be..

March 7, 2012

Reading “Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners by John Bunyan”

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Kezia @ 3:13 pm

God has been showing His mercy to me..

This morning, I wrote that I’m questioning about being chosen by God..
About an hour ago, while I was packing my stuff from library.. I went to trolley..and the book Anugrah Berlimpah bagi Pendosa Terbesar by John Bunyan which had been translated from Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners were opened. I have seen the book before but have not touched and read yet..

As I opened the pages.. “accidentally” I opened the page with question “Apakah Allah sungguh-sungguh memilih saya?” or “Did God really chose me?”
At that time..I feel like crying..such a relieved.. I’m going to continue to read the book tomorrow..
Then, it was continued by reading online devotion which I posted before this posting “Encourage the Young by Spurgeon” and “Delighting in the Peace of Justification”
My heart is calm now, at least better than previously..

God in the name of Lord Jesus..thank you for showing Your mercy to me..Always be Your grace that upholds me tight..help me to live up Your grace..

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